Level Up
The first thing I acknowledge is pain. My ribs feel as if they've sustained a terrible impact, and the back of my head is throbbing. When I open my eyes, I notice the sky is full of smoke. People are screaming, and there are birds circling in the sky. Blood has pooled in my beard. Gathering my senses, I realize there is a battle going on, and I have no recollection of anything leading up to this moment. To my right, there is a floating white orb of light. There's something soothing about it. I feel as if I've lived this reality before.
As I lift myself up to a sitting position, I quickly pan around looking for what to do first. Grabbing for my sword and shield, I wince in pain when I move my arm. Out of nowhere, a vial with a red liquid floats out from seemingly nowhere, and as if I don't have control of my own body, my hand reaches out for it, and I drink it. The taste, if only for a split second, takes me to a beautiful beach. I instantly feel better, and jump to my feet.
As I adjust my breastplate, out of the darkness something comes at me. I recognize it as one of the beasts I battled with in a previous encounter. He has red eyes, overgrown tusk-like teeth, and huge ears. His skin is a bland shade of green. He swings a small rusted sword at me, and I dodge with a graceful demeanor, sending him off balance. Spinning around, I pull my sword, and in one swift motion, I flay the back of the Orc and send him sprawling to the ground. A gurgling sound escapes his mouth as his chest makes contact with the earth. That's when I hear her.
Lady Ashe calls out for help somewhere in the distance. The simple scream sets my heart on fire. I run up onto the rock ten paces ahead of me and survey the land. My brethren are everywhere, fighting the Orcs. Huts are on fire and villagers are running. I finally see Lady Ashe against a wall to my right. There are three Orcs circling her. I start running immediately, and within seconds I am able to leap into the air and behead the middle beast, sending his consciousness tumbling off into the night. The one to my left is the first to act, lunging his sword at my chest. Instinctively, I yank my shield right, causing the sword to glance off and miss me. His balance is forward, and his face meets my elbow. I sweep his legs out from under him, and pierce his heart with my blade. A monstrous yell comes from behind me. I spin around just in time to see the third creature running at me with both hands above his head, grasping his ax. I tumble to the left to avoid the blow, and I can tell the weapon is much too large for him. He can't stop his momentum, and he slams the ax into the Orc laying on the ground, still with my sword in his chest. I am temporarily disarmed.
Looking to my right, I find luck. A torch is on the ground, still lit. It looks rudimentary, and probably belongs to the tribe of green monsters attacking the village. The Orc has dislodged his ax, and lets off a grunt. I grab the torch, and shove it into the chest of the last Orc, just as he's turning to reengage me. Agony escapes the creatures throat, and he hysterically throws his hands outward, and steps backwards. The sight of anything on fire while alive is terribly frightening, and combined with noises similar to this it's even more so. The Orc takes his last dying breath, and falls backwards onto its back. There is a flash of light, and my body freezes, only for a second. When I regain control, I feel refreshed, like I just woke up next to a beautiful woman after a long deep sleep. I walk up and retrieve my sword from the chest cavity of my prey, and recognize that I feel stronger than I was a moment ago. As the smoke clears from a pile of hay nearby, a chest shows itself. Inside is a Longsword with a blue jewel embedded in the hilt. This is surely a finer weapon than I currently have.
"Milady, shall we leave this wretched place now?" I extend my hand. She seems wary of me, as I am but a common swordsman, but given the circumstances she doesn't have any other choice. Taking her hand, we run through the battlefield. After a few moments, I find an abandoned horse tethered to a post next to a small burning hut. I hear screaming inside, but my quest can not be diverted. I must get Lady Ashe to safety. Together we mount the horse, and ride out of the village. On the way, she tells me how her father will remember my name for eternity.
Upon arrival at the gates of the capital, Lady Ashe is escorted back to her father, the King, and I am given a room at the castle. It takes me hours to clean the battlefield off me. The bed feels like I'm floating in a sea with mermaids holding me up. My memory fades after that, and I do not regain it until the next morning. I'm already dressed in a royal tunic, and I'm standing. My sword is sheathed at my side. A knock at my door informs me I am to meet with the King. I smile, and politely reply "Thank you, Milord." This is the first time I've ever been to the castle, and today, everyone will know my name.
As I lift myself up to a sitting position, I quickly pan around looking for what to do first. Grabbing for my sword and shield, I wince in pain when I move my arm. Out of nowhere, a vial with a red liquid floats out from seemingly nowhere, and as if I don't have control of my own body, my hand reaches out for it, and I drink it. The taste, if only for a split second, takes me to a beautiful beach. I instantly feel better, and jump to my feet.
As I adjust my breastplate, out of the darkness something comes at me. I recognize it as one of the beasts I battled with in a previous encounter. He has red eyes, overgrown tusk-like teeth, and huge ears. His skin is a bland shade of green. He swings a small rusted sword at me, and I dodge with a graceful demeanor, sending him off balance. Spinning around, I pull my sword, and in one swift motion, I flay the back of the Orc and send him sprawling to the ground. A gurgling sound escapes his mouth as his chest makes contact with the earth. That's when I hear her.
Lady Ashe calls out for help somewhere in the distance. The simple scream sets my heart on fire. I run up onto the rock ten paces ahead of me and survey the land. My brethren are everywhere, fighting the Orcs. Huts are on fire and villagers are running. I finally see Lady Ashe against a wall to my right. There are three Orcs circling her. I start running immediately, and within seconds I am able to leap into the air and behead the middle beast, sending his consciousness tumbling off into the night. The one to my left is the first to act, lunging his sword at my chest. Instinctively, I yank my shield right, causing the sword to glance off and miss me. His balance is forward, and his face meets my elbow. I sweep his legs out from under him, and pierce his heart with my blade. A monstrous yell comes from behind me. I spin around just in time to see the third creature running at me with both hands above his head, grasping his ax. I tumble to the left to avoid the blow, and I can tell the weapon is much too large for him. He can't stop his momentum, and he slams the ax into the Orc laying on the ground, still with my sword in his chest. I am temporarily disarmed.
Looking to my right, I find luck. A torch is on the ground, still lit. It looks rudimentary, and probably belongs to the tribe of green monsters attacking the village. The Orc has dislodged his ax, and lets off a grunt. I grab the torch, and shove it into the chest of the last Orc, just as he's turning to reengage me. Agony escapes the creatures throat, and he hysterically throws his hands outward, and steps backwards. The sight of anything on fire while alive is terribly frightening, and combined with noises similar to this it's even more so. The Orc takes his last dying breath, and falls backwards onto its back. There is a flash of light, and my body freezes, only for a second. When I regain control, I feel refreshed, like I just woke up next to a beautiful woman after a long deep sleep. I walk up and retrieve my sword from the chest cavity of my prey, and recognize that I feel stronger than I was a moment ago. As the smoke clears from a pile of hay nearby, a chest shows itself. Inside is a Longsword with a blue jewel embedded in the hilt. This is surely a finer weapon than I currently have.
"Milady, shall we leave this wretched place now?" I extend my hand. She seems wary of me, as I am but a common swordsman, but given the circumstances she doesn't have any other choice. Taking her hand, we run through the battlefield. After a few moments, I find an abandoned horse tethered to a post next to a small burning hut. I hear screaming inside, but my quest can not be diverted. I must get Lady Ashe to safety. Together we mount the horse, and ride out of the village. On the way, she tells me how her father will remember my name for eternity.
Upon arrival at the gates of the capital, Lady Ashe is escorted back to her father, the King, and I am given a room at the castle. It takes me hours to clean the battlefield off me. The bed feels like I'm floating in a sea with mermaids holding me up. My memory fades after that, and I do not regain it until the next morning. I'm already dressed in a royal tunic, and I'm standing. My sword is sheathed at my side. A knock at my door informs me I am to meet with the King. I smile, and politely reply "Thank you, Milord." This is the first time I've ever been to the castle, and today, everyone will know my name.
Fight scene description us well done. Other places need some work. In the first paragraph where he wakes up and remembers a more complete "remembering" would set the scene for further action.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking about the last part. Maybe not enough info on the setting of the city. Why is he taken to an inn and not the castle to be cleaned up. Where did the clothes come from? Who came to get him? Why didn't the rescued lady demand he be kept at the castle....maybe she's under the King's control. What was she doing out there in the first place? Also, watch out for anachronisms. Words like "upgrade" wouldn't be used in your setting.
Is this too much commentary?
Thanks Pat. I've edited the story slightly. I took out his "remembering" after you pointed that out. In hindsight I don't think he'd remember anything, being a video game character. Also, the "blackout" periods refer to a fast forward during a video game, or the save and exit, followed by the resume of the game.
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